Open Letter to Ira Wade and Julien Harley

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Dear Sirs:

We were pleasantly surprised to learn of the planned reconstruction of Franklin Powell Sr. Park, and particularly impressed with the architect’s rendering published in “Tradewinds” last week. The slender palms and short shrubs which will replace those old outmoded mahogany trees are a wonderful upgrade. With the shade gone, tourists will no longer be tempted to linger, but hasten into air-conditioned shops where they belong. Also senior citizens, children, chickens, the residentially challenged, and other undesirables will stop their loitering.

As a community service, we would like to volunteer to expedite this project. With your permission, we will immediately clear and grade the site, which will then be available for parking. This will achieve many of the functional changes of the proposed reconstruction, with the added benefit of relieving traffic congestion. Some of the spaces could be assigned to the new Dockside building, putting to rest that silly brouhaha. There also would be room to accommodate many of the new police cars that have recently been obstructing traffic and occupying spaces previously available to the general public. It may be that this is actually the best use for the area, which could be rededicated as Franklin Powell Sr. Parking.

Should the renovation proceed further, however, we would like to make one suggestion regarding the implementation of William Karr’s outstanding design.

Between the bandstand and the “Sparky’s” building, the rendering shows an open circular court, with a structure reminicent of a Mayan sacrificial altar at its center. If this has not already designated the new home of Freedom Man, who apparently will be evicted from the spot he occupied during the park’s last renovation, we believe that it would be most appropriately assigned to a very large “Monument to Stupidity,” which we would also be pleased to donate.

We hope to hear from you soon, and eagerly await the opportunity to be of service.

Yours,
Chris Clark
Kamikaze Konstruction